THE GOOD, THE BAD & THE UGLY

I booked the final leg of the Trans-Sib, 3650km from Ulan Ude -Vladivostok on the oldest train I could find in the cheapest communal class. £75 for 3 days travel all the way across Siberia.

I met the guys in my carriage for the 72hour train ride and things got off to a good start. They were mostly bare backed, tattooed and sporting gold teeth. They offered me some home brew and the massive dude next to me kept feeding me meatballs- he looked hard. Siberian thugs aren't so bad, I though. 

He polished off a bottle of Russian vodka, lent forward and threw the empty bottle out of the moving window. It smashed on a tree and everybody laughed. This is perhaps an analogy for how the situation then changed, me being the tree.

Another bottle came out and things started getting roudy. A small guy who had previously been quiet started perking up and became quite the joker. It soon became clear that I was the butt of his jokes - the stupid looking westerner with the moustache who couldn't speak Russian.

I didn't really mind, I'm happy if I can entertain people and I wanted to keep relations sweet for the long haul so I kind of played along. He took a shine to a Russian girl also in the carriage travelling alone and was laying it on pretty thick then the big dude who had been feeding me meatballs wanted money off me for more vodka. I made eye contact with the girl - she looked terrified haha and we both kind of realised that we were in the danger zone. The Cashew nuts and beers I'd brought to the table obviously weren't sufficient, me being a rich westerner and that but I didn't like the way he was asking for money so I politely made my exit and went back to my bed. The mood was stale.

The train stopped. We all got off to stretch our legs and the short mouthy guy made must have made another unsavoury comment about me. We were all stood in a 2meter wide corridor between two parked trains, night time with smoke filling the air - it looked like scene from sin city. From the shadows, backlit, rose a stocky silhouette holding a can of beer. He spoke in Russian with a distinctly confrontational tone - I figured out straight away that he was defending me. The mood suddenly changed and the two yobs got in his face but he didn't budge (luckily fatty was still on the train sleeping). From what i could gather he was saying that they should be more respectful because I obviously couldn't defend myself. A few more people got involved including a woman and all this time I just stood there, silently, knowing that all of this was because of me. The hero circled round to stand in front of me and I saw his face out of the shadows for the first time, he was Buryat, of Mongolian descent.

The police eventually turned up to calm things down but it was really Soloman my bunkmate (pictured below) that ended up being the peace maker. We all got back on the train to continue for the rest of the 65hour journey. The Buryat gave me a nod and I shook his hand.

Nobody took the piss out of me anymore and we all lived happily ever after. I got everybodies picture the next day.

Top - The fat gangsta' sleeps 

Left - The two goons (joker on the right) 

Right - The Buryat